THE TEETH COME OUT WHEN MR.WINKLE COMES UP
Yo animals, what up…
So my long awaited opus on why I have, had and am having a beef with the so-called “Cutest Dog in the World,” the evil Mr. Winkle.
First off, What is he? To me he is Public Enemy Number One… and a symbol of cuteness-gone-a-rye.
He’s a dog… not a space alien, cafeteria worker or a fairy. Why is he trying so hard to be ANYTHING other than what he is? For those of you who aren’t familiar with this canine-in-waiting, he rose to fame a couple years ago on the Internet, why? Because he is supposed to be so darn cute… but what is cute, and what does cute mean?
Mr. Winkle is what Nabokov would call POSHLUST, “not only the obviously trashy but mainly the falsely important, the falsely beautiful (another way of saying cute), the falsely clever (what some people might think of my blog), the falsely attractive,” that sums the Winks up and a couple of other headlining grabbing entities I don’t care to name, too!
I believe that both the human and animal societies place too much emphasis on being cute and not enough on having substance. We need more calendars dedicated to Seeing Eye dogs, fire and police dogs, those of us out here in the world working our tails off everyday, in a positive way, not simply by trying to pass as a living stuffed animal.
Think of all those cute humans out there, simply slipping by on their smile or over-dugg dimples… Cute, ugly, frumpy, skinny, fat, Goth, corporate, yupster, over-extended… we shouldn’t define ourselves by what’s on the outside but by the animals we are inside.
JUST SAY “I DON’T THINK SO TO THE CUTENESS MACHINE!”
Next time you see a baby, don’t say to his mommy and daddy, “Oh, how cute.” Say, “How many languages can he speak.” Or if you see a puppy, don’t patronize him, pick him up, look him in the eye and say, “I will respect you my friend because you have a wisdom that I have yet to comprehend.”
Nuff said… however, in the spirit of unconditional love I DO have to give Mr. Winkle PROPS for supporting a lot of charities… That is a sign of substance, right? I don’t know? Maybe we should ask Angelina Jolie or better yet… Jen Aniston… (Which team are you one TEAM STITCH or TEAM WINKLE?)
Who saw Mr. Winkle on TBS’s “Sex and the City” last night? He was there, on a book tour when Carry took her crazy-train-cross-country tip to San Francisco. That cat seems to pop up everywhere… especially in my nightmares.