DOGGIE DAILIES

ALL THE BARK THAT’S FIT TO POST
So, I’ve been away for a while, my best friend was out in Orlando for the PGA Merchandising Conference and I was shipped over to a friend’s house who only has dial-up access… but has a lot of reading material I could paw through, so here’s a few things I picked up over the last couple a days.

SKYBARk

L.A., Vegas and Boston, now doggies that like to drink and best friends who like the nightlife have a place to do it all in style. SKYBARk is the brainchild of Brandon Hochman and Ralph Diaz, the inventors of PETaPOTTY, inside “mini-parks” that help best friends potty train puppies and give us some grass to roll around in when our friends are away.

SKYBARk has a fixed location on top of PETaPOTTY’s headquarters on Santa Fe Avenue in L.A. But SKYBARk parties are popping up across the country, every party is also a charitable event, in fact the inaugural event, which took place in March 2006 raised over $4,000 for “New Leash on Life.” Go to www.skybark.com to learn about events in your area or how to bring SKYBARk to your hometown.

DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW
Just about 8 million dogs wind up in shelters every year and of those about 4 million are “euthanized” (i.e. killed). One of the main reasons we end up in this perdicament is due to “behavioral issues” but whose “behavior issues” is what I ask?

So, I hope that you humans who are considering becoming a pooch’s best friend, know that it’s best to do your research before unleashing what may become one of the most rewarding relationships of your life. If not, read my story, FROM THE STREETS OF NEW YORK and see what happens when a human buys a dog without first considering the amount of time, effort and funds it takes to keep us around.

Get the facts straight before you settle down with a dog. Check out “The Everything Guide to Getting a Dog” by Rosencrans Baldwin, that appeared in the Jan. 15 issue of New York Magazine.

DIFFERENT DOGS NEED DIFFERENT CONDITIONERS
Isle of Dogs has recently launched a new line of personalized dog products— over 16 different shampoos and conditioners. Get your best friend to go to their website and create a profile for you and watch your coat go from dull to pawtastic, in two to three washes. They also have products that detangle, sooth irritated skin and reduce shedding.

TUNE IN SOON:
I will be launching my “Viscious Circle of Unconditional Love” soon… this will include my Manifesto on Unconditional Love, Pictures of pooches that have already joined (to join send your dossier and photo to stichthedog@gmail.com), and a line of THUGS4LUV t-shirts and stuff.

MR. WINKLE AND THE CUTENESS MACHINE

THE TEETH COME OUT WHEN MR.WINKLE COMES UP

Yo animals, what up…

So my long awaited opus on why I have, had and am having a beef with the so-called “Cutest Dog in the World,” the evil Mr. Winkle.

First off, What is he? To me he is Public Enemy Number One… and a symbol of cuteness-gone-a-rye.

BOTTOM-LINE: POSHLUST
He’s a dog… not a space alien, cafeteria worker or a fairy. Why is he trying so hard to be ANYTHING other than what he is? For those of you who aren’t familiar with this canine-in-waiting, he rose to fame a couple years ago on the Internet, why? Because he is supposed to be so darn cute… but what is cute, and what does cute mean?

Mr. Winkle is what Nabokov would call POSHLUST, “not only the obviously trashy but mainly the falsely important, the falsely beautiful (another way of saying cute), the falsely clever (what some people might think of my blog), the falsely attractive,” that sums the Winks up and a couple of other headlining grabbing entities I don’t care to name, too!

I believe that both the human and animal societies place too much emphasis on being cute and not enough on having substance. We need more calendars dedicated to Seeing Eye dogs, fire and police dogs, those of us out here in the world working our tails off everyday, in a positive way, not simply by trying to pass as a living stuffed animal.

Think of all those cute humans out there, simply slipping by on their smile or over-dugg dimples… Cute, ugly, frumpy, skinny, fat, Goth, corporate, yupster, over-extended… we shouldn’t define ourselves by what’s on the outside but by the animals we are inside.

JUST SAY “I DON’T THINK SO TO THE CUTENESS MACHINE!”
Next time you see a baby, don’t say to his mommy and daddy, “Oh, how cute.” Say, “How many languages can he speak.” Or if you see a puppy, don’t patronize him, pick him up, look him in the eye and say, “I will respect you my friend because you have a wisdom that I have yet to comprehend.”

Nuff said… however, in the spirit of unconditional love I DO have to give Mr. Winkle PROPS for supporting a lot of charities… That is a sign of substance, right? I don’t know? Maybe we should ask Angelina Jolie or better yet… Jen Aniston… (Which team are you one TEAM STITCH or TEAM WINKLE?)

Who saw Mr. Winkle on TBS’s “Sex and the City” last night? He was there, on a book tour when Carry took her crazy-train-cross-country tip to San Francisco. That cat seems to pop up everywhere… especially in my nightmares.